Archive for the ‘Belgian Waffle’ Category

One Line Review 10: 30 Days Of Night

Wednesday, November 7th, 2007

It’s truly fitting that the head vampire in this movie is played by the weirdest typecast actor in history, Danny Huston, who played a vampiric politician in The Kingdom, The Constant Gardner and Children of Men.

Your Correspondent, Fears zombie vampires less than the IMF

One Line Review 9: Elizabeth, The Golden Age

Tuesday, November 6th, 2007

It says something profound about society’s view of women when a historical epic about an all-powerful monarch who beat back a huge invasion and set their small nation on the road to becoming the grandest Empire in history turns into nothing more than a romance with a battle as a backdrop.

Your Correspondent, His fallopian tubes soared like eagles.

Dripping With Cool

Monday, November 5th, 2007

We’ve talked alot of science recently at Zoomtard. One of the things I learned from glorious mathematicians who have graced my life is that maths > science. Fact.

Here is a mathematical formula that is not up for contention, unlike the question of whether or not that last sentence actually was a joke.

(Michael Stipe + Bruce Springsteen)* A Patti Smith song == Coolest thing that has happened on the interweb since Al Gore killed that polar bear with a petrol can.

Your Correspondent, Desire is hunger is the fire he breathes, when there isn’t any air like.

Girls That Sing Songs They Wrote V

Wednesday, October 31st, 2007

There is such a huge backlog of YouTube videos featuring female singer songwriters that I could make Stig swallow a Costa Rican turd while admitting he was wrong about the casual comment he made once a long time ago.

Some people would let it go, not me. I am not some person. I am the guy who drains all the fun out of casual comments.

You need St. Vincent to put the fun back in. I am not just listing her because I have the most awfully huge crush on her (not as bad as the Jenny Lewis crush but bad all the same). She was in Sufjan Steven’s band and the Polyphonic Spree and her real name is Annie Clark and she is a funny lyricist which always helps. And her album Marry Me is named after Maeby’s catchphrase in Arrested Development and it’s top class.

So here is Jesus Saves, I Spend, a song written and performed by a girl, thus proving they are at least as good as monkey-men. The extended intro is totally new from the album but it’s sweet.

She’s playing Belfast tonight and Dublin tomorrow by the way.

Your Correspondent, his hands are black inside this downtown taxi cab

One Line Review 8: Stardust

Tuesday, October 30th, 2007

If Ricky Gervais ever gets a new character, I think there is a good chance we won’t get tired of him as quickly.

Your Correspondent, Refuses to believe in “love”

Thoughts On A Film

Tuesday, October 30th, 2007

Watching one of your loved one’s most treasured childhood films is a dangerous proposition. I learned this the hard way when I didn’t fall in love with the Goonies. But as we watched the actually brilliant Drop Dead Fred one night I realised something. Scientists could prove that the funniest things in the world involve people losing control of their body under the influence of others. Evidence:

    The blah blah blah scene with Evan in Bruce Almighty, punting an otherwise ordinary movie into classic status.
    The lunchtime date scene in Drop Dead Fred, where she throws her meal out the window.
    Any Charismatic Church I’ve ever been at where the Spirit “slays” people. It’s impolite to laugh in public at that though.

Your Correspondent, A Contestant For Your Affections

One Line Review 7: The Kingdom

Wednesday, October 17th, 2007

Starting with an opening sequence beautiful and informative enough to be worth the entry price, this big star movie wanders off into big-star action before coming back to a conclusion that well, left me nodding my head in total agreement.

Your Correspondent, Probably would become Mormon to marry Jennifer Garner

One Line Review 6: Reign Over Me

Saturday, October 13th, 2007

If my best friend ever went mental, then I think he’d probably be like Adam Sandler’s character in this movie so I figure that is why I really liked it: I don’t want Janovich to go mental.

Your Correspondent, Going crazy to a Springsteen soundtrack

One Line Review 5: Michael Clayton

Wednesday, October 10th, 2007

Surely this very fine one that has George Clooney in it will end the long stream of movies about evil big business, and finally we’ll see Michael Douglas come back for Wall Street II: The Profiting.

Your Correspondent, Wants to grow up like George.

One Line Review 4: Knocked Up

Wednesday, October 3rd, 2007

If Knocked Up were a meal, you’d get it in a greasy spoon where you assume it will be a heart attack on a plate and it is, but the steak turns out to be exquisite and all the vegetables are grilled so it actually leaves you feeling really good.

Your Correspondent, He’s playing fetch with your kids