Now I Am A Man

This Year’s Blue Book, originally uploaded by Zoomtard.

So this arrived in my postbox. It came with a voting card. It means that I am spending the first week of June in Hell, I mean, Belfast. Anyonw up there want to meet for coffee and gouge my eyes out?

In reality I can’t wait. There’ll be fights and controversy and silly accents and lots of friendly men giving me mighty handshakes and making inappropriate comments about my religious heritage. I’ll Zoomtard it, needless to say.

In fact, the hip thing in the Christian blogosphere is to blog live from conferences. So maybe I can be the official blogger of the PCI General Assembly. Talk about compelling reading. I bet you can’t wait until July when I provide a 24 hour live feed of weeds taking over my back lawn.

Music Tames The Savage Beast. So Does Pizza
I saw Dave Matthews Band live last week thanks to the generosity of my oldest friend. They were astonishingly good. DMB are one of those bands that you can’t really pretend to be hip while loving them. I love those bands. But I can’t understand the animosity so many people have against them. There were 4 minute long violin solos! Oh. I just realised why people hate them. We should have seen them five years ago though, before our DMB fandom peaked and started to slide. Why’d you take so long to get here Leroi? Eh? Carter? You got an answer?

I also saw Duke Special again (thanks Wylie!). It was as usual, an outstanding gig. You really should buy the album or catch him live next time he comes your way. There was only one moment where it got a little “Sunday worship” (singing “music is the language of the soul” over and over is bound to give the God-bothering away Peter!) and otherwise it was all above board. I really enjoyed the concert. It was a visual feast without having any stage or special light shows or inflatable santas or anything of that sort. The band were great. The songs are so much better live. And the encore in the middle of the crowd is more than just a cool touch.

I am going to see Liam McDermott perform in my spiritual homeland next weekend. For some stupid reason he is going to Leitrim and its as good an excuse as any for me to go back to the Zoomtard family home and spend the weekend reading big books and staying up late drinking beer and singing songs with friends. The Zoomtard family home is massive and empty and has a lake and a basketball hoop and we’ll be planting oak trees. Stigmund and Babette are going to some gig in Malaysia or some other far fetched excuse so you are welcome to join us seeing as they won’t come.

No, not you. You are not welcome.

Things I Read And Enjoyed. You Might Like Them Too.
Pornographer Larry Flynt of all people helps me to come to terms with Rev. Falwell. Flynt displays a stunning ability to forgive when he talks about his friendship with Falwell, a man who repeatedly sued him. There is probably a great short story to be weaved from the fact that the pornographer has more integrity than the preacher but I’ll leave it to you to think about before remembering that Cornation St is starting.

I don’t have the greatest sympathy for vegetarianism and I think that veganism is stupid. You’ll never free me of this prejudice now however, since I heard about the fact that babies die from veganism and the parents go to prison. Weird.

I voted Green in the General Election and am considering joining the party. (I am planning to become a Presbyterian Minister. Should I just not join any parties?) But this projection of climate change kind of excites me. I see no drawbacks for any of us living in Dublin.

Your Correspondent, Learning To Be More Judgemental

4 Responses to “Now I Am A Man”

  1. If you can’t wait ’til Belfast for your eyes to be gouged out, on Wednesday night I am sure there will be many spoon-wielding maniacs more than willing to help you out.

  2. zoomtard says:

    Something to look forward to, I suppose.

  3. Ortho says:

    Was Zoomtard at Duke Special on Tuesday night??? I missed my chance to meet the enigmatic blogmaestro…

  4. zoomtard says:

    I was at the Friday night standing gig. I’m just that little bit more rock and roll than you.