Gamble Everything For Love

Less than four minutes into USA’s World Cup effort you interrupt the game and ask me why I haven’t been updating? Well before Jan Koller goes and scores a goal let me explain that I have been really really busy at work. In the last few weeks I have been preparing for my month of dietary research in Ukraine, teaching a bunch of Northern Irish that churches are more socially destructive in their country than pubs and been busy turning the esteemed charity I work for into my own personal slush fund. Does that satisfy you? Now watch how powerfully that tall freak heads the ball past Kasey “I should be a librarian” Keller.

The USA are managed by a man called Bruce Arena. How American a name can you have? I am sure Bruce Arena’s archetypal name has been blogged a million times already this month but it needs to be pointed out. Also, their reserve keeper has Tourettes. If ever there was a mental condition brewed up in Satan’s lab for goalkeepers, it is Tourettes. Or one of those X-Men conditions that let you freeze people when you look at them. Or Flybrane. That is when, like a fly, time runs 6 times slower than it does for the rest of us. I have learnt about all these conditions from my dad’s scribbled neurological notes so you won’t find them published anywhere. Yet.

I saw the third X-Men movie and the new Omen and Friends With Money and a bunch of other movies since I last wrote to my adoring internets. They were all terrific in their way. X-Men and its girls with stranger than usual powers way, Omen with its terrifying nightmares and Pope who doesn’t notice when his Cardinals take alarming liberties with Revelations 8 and Friends With Money with three of the best actresses in the world in the same movie that has Jennifer Anniston excelling in it. This is one of those smart, funny, realistic movies based on great dialogue and outstanding performances by Catherine Keener, Joan Cusack and Frances McDormand that still won’t get your attention even with Friend #5, Ms. Former Brad Pitt.

I wish I could hang around but Paul Simon’s new album is amazing, I have the latest Douglas Coupland novel to read, the World Cup is on for the next month and I am going to a family reunion where I’ll meet a lovely old priest I first met 16 years ago this evening. You could be naked and covered in tiramasu and I still wouldn’t be interested in hanging around with you.

Your Correspondent, His Friends Can’t Wait To Meet You

One Response to “Gamble Everything For Love”

  1. stigmund says:

    *shakes head, takes the kitchen roll and sheepishly begins wiping off the tiramisu*