This One’s Gonna Bruise

The golden age of Zoomtard has ended. The underground bunker from which we have been writing has been stormed by a crack team of Northern Irish theologians. It is bad news. Remember, loyal readers, at the end of this Zoomtard episode I discussed revealing my true non-superhero identity to a friend who was also a colleague? No. Well, it was a long entry. I can understand you skipping down to guess the lyric I quote after the Your Correspondent bit.

Anyway, this guy googled a resource that he had heard I had produced (I hadn’t actually- the time I claimed to have spent writing it was in fact spent with my slot machine addiction) and ended up at Zoomtard. Baxtard.

See, the self editing has begun. It is one thing to know that people like Patrick Mitchel drop by now and again but when a direct colleague is aware of the crap you throw out online under a slightly offensive pen name, it makes you think 3 or 4 times before threatening to assasinate Dana.

Don’t worry. I won’t withdraw into a shell like Ddmmyy. does whenever another person finds out that he is actually the Irish minister for the Marine and I won’t make a to go alongside his .yymmdD site. But I might be a bit more wary about banging on the laptop in a rage like I have done before.

Here, see this? That particular life-ignoring shambles can just be burned along with the cubicles and cuticles of whatever UNocrats who are behind it. I am proud to be a wet behind the ears mamby pamby cry me a river unthinking knee jerk liberal on most issues but I proudly stray from the party line when I say: The UN can go fuck itself.

It would make a change and give genocide-suffering people a break. If there is a war torn shithole, history has shown that the UN will show up and make things worse. By not showing up. Or when they do show up, like in post-Gulf War I Iraq, they will be as corrupt as Donegal Pigs.

If the UN meant anything, surely it meant that the suffering poor, the crap on the shoe of the capitalist West could at least be given some protection for the storms that inevitably break out when our policies of easy-source-of-sweatshop-labour joined with crippling debt repayments rape drew out to its logical consequence.

Well I gues the 3 million dead of Cambodia would like to say a big fat “No!” to that adolescent idealism. But they are dead. Like the million in Rwanda and the countless thousands in Liberia and Sierra Leone and the former Yugoslavia and Afghanistan and Zimbabwe and the former Zaire and the list goes on…

The greatest punchline Evil has managed in recent years has been the appointing of Sudan to the UN Human Rights Commission while they are engaged in genocide.

I once met a group of American UN reps from the Agriculture Bureau while out in Rome one night. They hated Italy. They hated their jobs. They hated poverty. They were filled with hate. And they were so boring as a result. There is a peculiar boredom in a person who is in a position to make a difference but is too jaded to even try. Long before I began reading about the UN, I suspected from the attitudes of these bright young things just a few years older than me that there was something not right.

The UN should not be reformed. It should be punished. Henry Kissinger and the UN and all those other war criminals should be brought into the depths of a New Dehli slum and… answers on a postcard. Zoomtard can’t be too controversial in case his co-workers make him back up his opinions.

Oh anonymity how I crave you. It won’t be long now before CaoimheB and I are invited to host TV3’s early morning show.

Your Correspondent, A Jumped Up Country Boy

2 Responses to “This One’s Gonna Bruise”

  1. Kofi Annan says:

    Damned if they do, damned if they don’t and you wonder why they are jaded.

  2. Janovich says:

    Were those UN reps not Canadian? Or French Canadian…? Oh, it was all so long ago….