Cabbages, Kettles, Swedes and Linkage

My only comment on the whole Terry Schiavo fiasco will be this, from Dr. James Burnett, Professor of Neurology at Dartmouth Medical School:

[On Mrs. Schiavo’s Persistant Vegetative State] “The problem of course, is that it sounds like the word vegetable.”

Schiavo is caught in the middle of a legal battle between her husband who wants euthanasia and her parents who want to care for her. Seems like a simple ethical matter to me but I am clearly under the influence of some tap water out here in the sticks since my sophisticated urban dwelling giant friend seems to join with most of Florida in thinking that humans should be allowed to live only if we deem them to be having a really fun time.

Yeah, I know that is a cheap simplification of the argument. But my housemate, a balding genius agreed with me on this one over a nutella breakfast this morning and so I feel sanctioned.

We bought a new kettle here at the Kildare Knowledge Incorporated. It looks like it was folded up inside a Kinder Egg. It is made of cheap shiny plastic. But its great benefit is that it has a little window so that we can see the water boiling instead of just trusting the little clicking on/off switch that our tea was ready to brew. The days of boiling-water-agnosticism are gone. There is no need for the constant debate between the boiling fundamentalists in the house who demanded that by faith we should accept the kettle’s command as a supreme authority and the dithering liberals who always wanted to pour a bit of water over their faces before going into the mug just to make sure. The inherent and unquestionable cynicism of kettle worship is brought to an end and I can rest easier. I can also welcome my friends round for instant hot beverages without fearing a verbal lashing that will burn for weeks.

I had meant to call my friend in Malmo, Sweden tonight but I forgot about it. Did you know that Republic of Sophistication is the official name of Sweden? Their national slogan is, “We’re very advanced, you know?” I like that. It really involves the audience with that clever question mark. They aren’t going to be arrogant about it. They are so sophisticated that they want feedback. It’s a leading question though. Not likely to garner authentic feedback at all. But maybe their focus groups and polling have told them that prospective investors, visitors and citizens enjoy the illusion of feedback potential without actually being forced into sharing an opinion. In that case, Sweden definitely pips their Scandinavian neighbours to the pole position in sophistication.

Twenty Major has been typically hilarious during my hiatus from the world of media but here is a flash animation made by the teen shooter in Minnesota that the old geezer from Dublin talked about. Don’t click if you want to maintain the high moral ground.

This is a brilliant article from Slate with a great video attached.

Finally, this link coming up here, involves nudity. I have never done this on Zoomtard before but I feel it important to share with you what we pass off as sex symbols in today’s society. Maybe I’m just all sensitive like a little girly girl having seen Christian Bale play an anoerexic dude in The Machinist but judging from the papparazzi photos, Mischa naked would be a terrifying and not at all sexy prospect.
Nudie Bits

The picture initially came from this site via Fark.com.

Your Correspondent, A Good Member of Large Crowds

4 Responses to “Cabbages, Kettles, Swedes and Linkage”

  1. I can't remember says:

    To be fair it’s not the nicest of angles but I’d still rather see that then some lard ass.

    What’s the crunchiest part of a vegetable?
    The wheelchair!

  2. Joey Jo Jo says:

    I agree, I’d much rather see every bone in a girl’s spine and ribcage than a normal human layer of (God forbid) fat.

    Go back to writing your pro-ano website, jerk.

  3. What’s an RSS feed? That sounds like something that should be going into Terri Schiavo’s stomach. Zing!
    Is it wrong of me to think that Christian Bale looks hot in that photo?

  4. I would try that whole anorexia malarkey, but I’m just not committed enough. Sooo much effort.