And if you are waiting for nothing, what are you doing?

I am just out of the shower, having desperately tried to get the smell of SUBURBIA off my clothes after I met an old co-worker in the supermarket. I always suspected that I was a middle aged man trapped in the totally buff body of an early 20’s hipster, but this is proof.

The old co-worker was one of the few bright things in a fairly dismal six months with a multi-national where I excelled in my pursuit of mediocrity. I was quite surprised that she remembered who I was. She is now married and also motherly to a little ball of pink baby boy.

It got me to thinking though about how wildly my life has changed over the last two years. For the better. Back then I was directionless except for my Fabergé Egg compulsion. I was just another child from the slums, raised by wolves, who fought the system and won by coming out on top of the International Feral Child Science Fair and landing a scholarship to a prestigious Applied Maths department.

Now I am married, employable and more importantly employed and benefiting from countless tax and welfare scams to ingenius to go into right now.

On a serious note, Zoomtard is shaving and putting on a suit on Sunday morning because he is heralding the Word of the Lord in a real live church. In other words, he is preaching. If you are anywhere near Kells, Co. Meath or Ervey in Co. Louth this Sunday morning and are awake early and not too hung-over and interested in comparing steroid usage notes with me, you should come along to either (or both) services. They are in the local Presbyterian churches, but don’t worry, you don’t have to pledge allegiance to the Queen before entering.

I am running the whole of both services, which is more than I’ve ever done before, but it should be a great experience. Friendly faces in the congregation would rule.

Call out over. I have to go apply for another six credit cards, or whatever it is that international money launderers do on Friday afternoons.

Your Correspondent, Always there with a needle when the thread comes loose.

4 Responses to “And if you are waiting for nothing, what are you doing?”

  1. honest Bob says:

    I’m not worried about anyone pledging allegence to the Queen, but if YOU or any of your Presbyterian FRIENDS decide to don BOWLER hats and sashes, and march down MY road, I should say OI! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  2. Zoomtard says:

    Hey Bob,

    One of the recurring themes in zoomtard is my absolute abhorrence of Paisleyism and Orangeism and indeed of Northern Irish Protestantism generally. Here are three places I have dealt with how bad I think it is:

    I assure you that if the Orange tried to march down our roads, I would be the first to protest against it.


  3. honest Bob says:

    Okay, that’s good to hear, but I was only joking anyway.

  4. Peter, the Great Egg says:

    Are you suggesting that this coincidence is proof that you are a 1920s hipster? I for one am not convinced.