I Look Good In My Attitude, Latitude 1974

Darn it, this has been one of the best weeks of my life. I sit here in a slovenly slum that passes as my fiancé’s kitchen. But that doesn’t matter since we splashed out on a new laptop and associated hardware this week so the table is covered in the kind of tech that gives my good friend Phil a hard on.

Ben Folds has announced that he is going to be playing in Dublin in November and in Vicar St no less. Forget my wedding, that is going to be the best night of my life. I will need to wear a nappy, the excitement is such.

My girlfriend has also become quite the obsessive amateur photographer. This turns me on the way an overclocked Pentium centrino processor turns Phil on. I don’t know why, but the idea of my girlfriend crouching in the corner of a shopping centre in Dublin trying to get a time-delay shot of all the people buying and a baby girl sitting still in her pushchair is very attractive. At this stage, I am embarrassed to even consider putting this online.

I also got paid this week which was a pleasant surprise. As a result, I have new shoes, saw Station Agent and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and I may just have enough left over to pay back some debt and buy lunch on Monday.

But the final King reason for the supremacy of this week over other weeks has been the news that I have a new job. I am leaving my Foreign Affairs job and all hopes of a diplomatic placement to go work for a charity as of September 1st. The fantasy of the diplomatic position was always going to stay fantasy of course, since Diplomat’s Wife is my fiancé’s ultimate nightmare and as we all know, the spouses of diplomats are not allowed engage in their own careers.

The job is the job that I have always wanted but didn’t always know I wanted. Since last year, I have known. The selection of moi over the other candidates was a surprise and somewhat risky choice. I have a lisp after all. But come September I imagine this blog will take a new direction, need a re-design and you will all know what the job is. You all being the handful of people who read this. I hope you like Christian blogs though.

The job comes with a perk. Well, with many perks, but the best one is that I can buy books from a very prominent Christian publication house at cost price. If you know me, then you know that I will have to place a large order for Ben Folds concert nappies because the prospect of books that good and cheap will make me socially anathema due to uncontrolled excitement.

The only drawback to the job is that I will have to leave the Socialist Party and Sinn Féin. You’ll no longer be able to call to me from across the street when you see me loading TVs into the back of a stolen ambulance because I can’t load TVs into the backs of stolen ambulances anymore. No need though. I have a salary! I can just buy the TVs. Or the ambulances. Or you. So watch it.

-Your Correspondent, Snug and Smug

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