You were the sun, you were the Earth

I went to a set of meetings yesterday organised by a new alliance that hasn’t yet been launched to do with a particular kind of Christianity practiced in Ireland. The highlight of the afternoon was the talk by David Porter of ECONI which pretty much made me want to punch the air and shout out, “This is the Good News! Listen you fuckburgers, listen!”, except with a nicer term than fuckburgers.

However, another speaker made me want to punch something else entirely. She was from the European arm of this new alliance and she talked about how we should be nice to people. We should send valentine cards to our politicians. We should invite photographers to our social action events (our, here means the Church, for those of you who aren’t Christian squares).

I stood up, walked across to her and said, “In the words of Barthie,” (my pet name for Karl Barth), “Grace is patient but Grace is also stormy!” Then I slapped her across the face and blood went flying. Immediately, the Holy Spirit descended from the ceiling and cleaned the blood off and put it back in her nose. Then I sat down and she began again, suitably chastened.

Others in the room may not have seen this little incident but that is because they weren’t holy enough. Also, the Holy Spirit was humming Shakira songs.

I guess you all now have a good idea of what I thought of the day and the theology of the participants, (excluding the wonderful ECONI) and yet I am still enthusiastic about the future of this new alliance and hope that the excellent leadership can guide it through the hard task of crafting an identity that isn’t irrelevant and fundamentalist.

Your Correspondent, Wasting Time In The Unemployment Lines

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