If I Ever Believe Such A Perfect Surprise

This journal has got to be either psuedo-intellectual or preposterous. So today I am combining the two, with the help of my maths buddy C.

C is my maths buddy because he does complex sums. In many ways he is like a hard sum. A hard equation perhaps. “I suspect that if he got it right, he would live again but then he’d have to die twice at the end”. Prizes to the person who gets that reference.

Pomos (by which I mean post-modernists, not a misspelt derogoratory shorthand term for homosexuals) like to view maths and physics equations as “invented” texts. They weren’t discovered. Oh no! Nothing so sensible. Because sense is an imperialist idea. Instead, equations that represent facts about our world are texts that need to be deconstructed. Let me quote Luce Irigaray on E=mc2. It isn’t a General Theory of Relativity but a “sexed equation” which prejudices “the speed of light over other less masculine speeds”.

In that sense, maybe C is just an equation that I invented because it suits me and you can take him (it) or leave me.

C went on honeymoon to Greece and he met some nice Grecians. This post is all about his sweet-potato cooking friends, Zenothemis and Hegestratos.

ZENOTHEMIS: By Zeus, Hegestratos! Look at this: if I arrange these seven stones in a line and then add an additional seven beneath them and then do this five more times, I create a “square” of forty-nine stones. So we might say: forty nine is seven “squared”. Oh, by the way, did you hear the teachers are striking again?

HEGESTRATOS: Forget the teachers old friend. Our idiot Government needs NATO’s help with the Olympiad next year. So much for being ruled by ourselves. Monotheistic terrorists threaten the noble games. You call this a “Civilisation”? But that is an interesting idea about the stones there and the numbers. Lovely bit of work. Well done.

ZEN: Monotheistic? They only believe in Zeus?

HEG: No, they believe in a moon god who may have been a paedophile. Anyway, this idea about the stones is much deeper than I first imagined--

ZEN: How so?

HEG: Well, initially I thought it was just one of those curious but derivative number games that you and your ilk are wont to play with now and then. But its much more substantial. It speaks deeply to me of the cumulative effect of oppression after oppression on a people until they can do nothing but reject the truth context created by the imperialists and reform the world in their own way.

ZEN: You mean, if these were really big stones and you gave seven to the oppressed masses followed by another seven and then did this five further times, you would have subjected them to oppression “squared”?

HEG: Exactly! My dear friend we are on to something here. I can almost see the nubile post-grads at my public readings! Why, if a people could claim to have suffered like this, then their rejection of the ruling elite’s “authority” would be legitimate even if it contradicted the norms of behaviour in the previous society.

ZEN: About those post-grads--

HEG: In that case, the monotheistic terror-mongers would be fully reasonable in their decision to gain “liberation” from oppression by bombing races filled with doped up Americans. Why, by your theory of the “squares”, they would be compelled to reject the oppressive regime of truth and replace it with their realisation of “reality”.

ZEN: Oh, ok. I just thought it was useful for building bridges and coming up with medical statistics and maybe sorting out home finances. Also, it made a pretty pattern--

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That was a less than interesting exercise in creative co-operation. I banish C and his knowledge from this website! What need do you and I, gentle reader, have for his wisdom, intellect and good-looks? None is right! Unless the reader is C in which case, I enjoyed it immensely.

Your Correspondent, Thinking of All the Things She Said

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