Alright. First entry should start off well. I am hoping for something as seismic and as influential as Genesis Chapter 1 or alternatively something a little more “true” in a “literal” sense, by which I mean “actually happened”.
To know anything about what I hope this to be, you have to know why it was started. Here is why:
1) Mimi Smartypants writes a blog on diaryland.com. She is one of the funniest writers I have ever read and while I don’t ever intend to sell out to Harper Collins like she did, I would quite like to adopt a Chinese baby and I aspire to one day owning an mp3 player. That says it all really but I will add more because as you will soon discover, that is my thing. Adding more.
Mimi seems to get a lot out of the whole website thing. Writing regular updates to a site is discipline building which is positive if not very exciting. (I won’t go into how positive overall it is to share your untested opinions of questionable worth on a medium that encourages you to write imprecisely and without any structure just because some people will read it. (Nor will I go into the overall positive effect of this is no one reads it)). The weblog/journal/site that I envision this becoming will be a more realistic attempt at keeping a diary. With nice pictures included.
Also, I will happily sell out. And I encourage Mimi in her selling out since it means I can introduce her to my web-phobic sister.
2) My girlfriend has gone crazy. This distresses me and I need something to distract myself from morbid thoughts about never again sharing a peaceful Saturday afternoon laughing over announced farts and trying to stop her from murdering her housemates/parents/random people for leaving paper lying around/telling her to do something like check the electricity meter/for existing. Those were the good old days when her insanity was benign. But she got herself some webspace and has disappeared into a joke creating haze. You can’t relax around her in fear that she’ll use your mistaken pronounciation of a word as the basis of a whole post or that she’ll mention that you have a third nipple just because you won’t get up in the middle of the film to go buy her more popcorn.
I have tried reasoning with her and have failed. I have tried hiding the laptop adaptor and she has fashioned a crude battery recharging device out of a tennis racket, some baking soda and a bottle of LIDL whiskey. So I give in and join her. In conclusion, Girlfriend, NP, my S.O., the SB, is a major cause of my contribution to the web.
3) I have a very gifted friend, Dave Barrett. He and Paul Donnan (who is more touched, in the Hand of God kind of a way) set up a company after college called lightreel.com. They design sites and do network stuff and something about standards and dynamism and inter-trans-textuality but I was never that great a computer scientist so I amn’t so fluent in web-programmerese. Anyway, Dave built this for me as a non-cash birthday gift. That is the kind of thing I wholeheartedly endorse. Its also outside the box thinking that makes me want to invest in lightreel and whatever doohickeys they do or don’t make. But I am now an Arts postgrad so I have no money. Sorry.
4) I have always felt that since the moonwalk, mankind has been looking for the next great step forward. This is it.
Your Correspondent, Training in the Centrifuge
[...] It is coming up to the three year anniversary of this website. Back when it began, it was a weird and great gift from a friend who didn’t have alot of money. I can’t remember if I was still doing my degree or was into my Masters by then but it was a different Zoomtard writing. Now I am married, I work for a church (!) and I have quite a few grey hairs making me look awfully dignified. Reading back on that first entry it is interesting (to me at least) that Mimi Smartypants had played such a role in my starting to write. [...]